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'Your beard tickles.'

"Are we there yet?"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

WHIRLWIND COURTSHIP

Hammer and Anvil.

"It's my autobiography. I call it, 'I Married Her For Her Money, And Other Gross Miscalculations'."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'Actually thursday'll be a perfect time to come by Penny. That way you'll finally get the chance to meet my other half.'

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

"Can I start you all off with my cheesy alimony saga?"

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

"I picked him up cheap on eBay."

"If you two lovebirds could wrap it up I'd like to pee there please and thank you."

'You're becoming so distant, Els!'

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

"You mean the rumours she dated a Flamingo are true?"

"Yes, I'll marry you, but you understand you'll have to clean up your den right?"

I was expecting something else when you said nuptial agreement!

'Oh, pretty good. At least I'm not hearing voices telling me what to do anymore. . . got fired and divorced.'

'And I thought I was leaving you.'

"We did it—nice work today." "Thanks. I look forward to hearing from you soon."

"I should let you know, you accidentally forwarded THAT mail to me."

Courtship display

"Open marriage? All right, open marriage it is!"

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"