Relationship Comic Reader T-Shirts

"After you and Sara got married, have your text messages changed?"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

The Amazing Man-Spider

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

Time Machine Collision

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

X-ray Psychology.

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

The Salmon Run

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

Fish snorkling above water.

wattle covers

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"How many darn burritos did you eat?"

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

'Yes Mr Hare, you were right: He IS on steroids!'

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

WHIRLWIND COURTSHIP

Mou...Man trap!

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'