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"And don't get me started on his irritating hissy-fits!"

Life is for the birds.

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

WHIRLWIND COURTSHIP

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

One cheese omelette, and I've never cheated on my husband. Um, okay. Anything else? A side of hash browns for this one-man woman! And a chocolate as hot and sweet as my intensely singular love for this phenomenal guy. Chuck? Yes dear? I've been having an affair for the last six months. Oh don't act surprised. One scone, and what the @#$% just happened? The denial and snacks before the storm.

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

"It's my autobiography. I call it, 'I Married Her For Her Money, And Other Gross Miscalculations'."

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

Revenge Graffiti.

'Actually thursday'll be a perfect time to come by Penny. That way you'll finally get the chance to meet my other half.'

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

"Manfred, don't get so defensive!"

"Ogden, you're taking yourself too damn seriously."

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'Marry me!'

“Stop avoiding me. I know when you are sleeping. I know when you are awake.”

'Sorry, I'm afraid it was a false alarm. It turns out that 'the emergency gas leak' was my husband.'

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"Do you have to put tomato sauce on everything?"

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"He's a terrible drunk."

"This now concludes our broadcast day."