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"And don't get me started on his irritating hissy-fits!"

Life is for the birds.

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

WHIRLWIND COURTSHIP

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'Marry me!'

'Actually thursday'll be a perfect time to come by Penny. That way you'll finally get the chance to meet my other half.'

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

Revenge Graffiti.

"Ogden, you're taking yourself too damn seriously."

"Manfred, don't get so defensive!"

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

“Stop avoiding me. I know when you are sleeping. I know when you are awake.”

'Sorry, I'm afraid it was a false alarm. It turns out that 'the emergency gas leak' was my husband.'

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"Do you have to put tomato sauce on everything?"

"What the hell do you mean you don't think it's mine?!"

"This now concludes our broadcast day."