Relationship Banter Specialist Pillows

"You've hidden the mosquito repellent, haven't you, Martha?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

Always Compatible

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

"Well, hello there, Boo Boo. Where's Daddy?"