Relationship Banter Specialist T-Shirts

"You've hidden the mosquito repellent, haven't you, Martha?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

Always Compatible

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'You've changed since we got married.'

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!