Reindeer Realist Gifts

Dec. 26

'Reindeer aren't as sweet as you think they are Jimmy, better make it a double.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Reindeer

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

Christmas tree exchange

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

Everything for a buck.

'I have no idea why he calls us those weird names...my name is Bob!'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"We've made a few changes."

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer had used to have a very shinysun-seekingtreacherouscharitablefame-seeking mobile nose

'You've got the flying reindeer, elves, and a cheery laugh - have you ever considered being Santa?'

To the delight of the elves and other reindeer, Santa installs the clapper on Rudolph.'

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

Great Moment in North Pole History

Accept cookies?

'Don't worry about your small handicap: Santa is an equal-opportunity employer: It will turn out fine...'

'My brother got all the glory. For me it was Randolph with your nose so pink, you really make my sleigh team stink.'

Hoo Hoo Hoo Merry Christmas!