Regulatory Compliance Gifts

"You regulators are never satisfied. You wanted more transparency, so we put more windows in the building."

"Still waiting for a response from compliance..."

"Can ANYONE tell me the POINT of Health and Safety?"

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment..'

"We won!"

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

US v.s. Tech Giants

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

"The Nominees"

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

How Many It Takes

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

'That's our corporate ladder.'

Volkswagen Scandal

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'You forgot the product label.'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

Speeding Forklift

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

'It's from the Federal Trade Commission -- we have to put in a non-smoking section.'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'