Compliance Gifts

'You realize, it may take us a while to get up to code.'

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

"It was WORSE than guilty! - The jury found me NONCOMPLIANT!"

'I'm not here for committing a crime - I'm here for failing to comply with a guideline.'

'All right... we've followed the health and safety directives, Can we get on with deliveries now?'

"Yeah, Eddie, but think about it this way - We don't have to comply with ANYTHING!"

'I know it's difficult to stay in compliance, with everything, Ferguson, but this is ridiculous!'

"Bless me, Father, for I am out of compliance...."

'You're right; there's a frozen pea on the floor. I'll cordon off the area, sound the store alarm and call in the disposal experts.'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'...Therefore, we're in complete compliance with all federal guidelines.'

"It's the latest Government guidance on 'managing paperwork for small businesses'"

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

'You forgot the product label.'

'A regulatory body is here to see you!'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'Ms Wayne, check with the legal department. Why must we obey the rules?'

'I've been here so long I don't remember what I did, but it had something to do with non-compliance.'

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'I know it's difficult to stay in compliance, with everything, Ferguson, but this is ridiculous!'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'Mr Cummings will now discuss that gray area between legal acts and illegal acts.'

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'

"Don't do anything rash, sir - The government gave us two more weeks to get into compliance!"

CSA bogging down a truck

"I hate to blow the place up, but it's way out of compliance with Galactic standards."

'Its reading Health and Safety Regulations that make me feel sick!'

'Damn! I think the FCA have rumbled us.'

"You know how to whistle, don't you? Just pick up the phone and call the S.E.C."

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

"The firm is very careful about health and safety issues. If you witness ANY accidents you're to press this big red button so that the media management team can come in to avoid any bad press."

"Here's my chance to bowl over the regulatory authorities!"

"You're applying for this job because your mother told you to. Well, I guess that's a good thing in a compliance officer."