Regulation Sleuth Gifts

Trading Standards man entering 'Toys r sus'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

Clickbait

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'You've been killing files again.'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

CIA. Office of Disinformation. Please Use Other Door.

The Modern Godot

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

'Gimme all your cache!'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

Secret Service Dogs

Efrain Rios Montt sentence overthrown.

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Two men converse secretively

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

Exportation and importation in Cuba

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

What security flaw?

'Tech support says your anti-virus software did not catch the problem since it is not a virus. It's a bacterium.'

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

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