Regional Marketing Aficionado Gifts

Y'ALL - Best little cleaner in the South.

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

News for Sale

Honesty in retail

Eat Beef

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

Gerald Ratner's return

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

SupermarketAwful Market.