Regal Riddle Solver T-Shirts

'Which Louis am I again?'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

"It's a list of possible side effects."

Oedipus

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

'Looks like another bad PR week for the company. The whole media team got burned in our last email blast."

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Anti-Vaxer

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

"Here comes Santa! I'm his number one fan!"

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

Cryptologists Anonymous

"I don't like the looks of that Spot on your lung."

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

'This could end up costing a lot more than I thought -- your disease is psychocomatic!'

'What goes ho, ho, ho, plop?'

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

"Hold on - 1...2...3...?"

"I'm afraid we'll have no chance of curing your husband until we find out why he changed into a banana."

Emperor Trump and Sultan Erdogan

"Maybe the alignment's off. It's been acting a little buggy."

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"I give up. What's black and white and red all over?"

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

'Yesterday we ran a CBC, a BUN, a liver profile...