Refund Rebels Gifts

'Sorry, no refunds. Didn't you read our fine print in Sanskrit about our return policy?'

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this seminar is about how to make profits in times of crisis..."

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

"The art class look - oh, you mean flung shui?"

"Stop fact checking my story."

Please wait to be yelled at.

'Sorry son, I spent all your inheritence fighting inheritence tax.'

"I feel your writing style is a bit old-school."

Harold pushed the 25 coffee refills to the limit

Wrong shelf.

Warning! Magazines Stay in Waiting Room

Unable to repair the On/Off switch, the electrician simply relabeled it.

Never wear running shoes with a jogging suit.

Be flamboyant-today living within your means is mucking-up the economy.

"You're holding the paper upside down, Kevin. . ."

Ace Apartments: Absolutely NO beekeeping!

'About this trip to the Amazon jungle...I want my money back!'

Sales Clerk tricks woman into an instant merchandise exchange.

"I'd say, psychotic-obsessive -- but I happen to know he's a top-level economist."

It's resolution time!

'That estimate Sir, was a brazen lie. The botter truth comes later.'

"I know this sucks, but just think of how awful we'll feel tomorrow."

Burning bills

'Your report is eight pages too long.'

"Miss Sprole collected our phones and held us incommunicado all day."

Turning the Tables Around