Refund Rebel Pillows

"Okay, okay, we'll give you a refund!"

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"I gotta be me!"

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

Unabridged Dictionary

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

"So what else can we get our customers to do online themselves and charge them for it?"

"I'll give you 3 to 1 nobody else turns up."

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

US Economy Boat.

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

"Writing is... rewriting."

Please wait to be yelled at.

Harold pushed the 25 coffee refills to the limit

Unable to repair the On/Off switch, the electrician simply relabeled it.

'Exercise is good for your rehabilitation, you can start by cleaning the toilets.'

Bassoonist cherub.

Wrong answer

Sales Clerk tricks woman into an instant merchandise exchange.

'About this trip to the Amazon jungle...I want my money back!'

Be flamboyant-today living within your means is mucking-up the economy.

'Sorry, no refunds. Didn't you read our fine print in Sanskrit about our return policy?'

"Baldo, when's the last time you read a book?"

'We'd like a book banned in 23 countries, please!'

'That estimate Sir, was a brazen lie. The botter truth comes later.'

'Look - decide. Are you going to launch an attack on tradition, or make a few bob?'

"This is called Grandma's Old Fashion Cold Capsules. Don't chew them, but if you do, it tastes like chicken soup."

"Keeping all your money in a cigar box is not wise. You should keep it in a coffee can hidden behind the TV, like me!"

Burning bills

'Let's just round this column off to the nearest nickel.'