Financial Rebel Pillows

'Let's just round this column off to the nearest nickel.'

"Keeping all your money in a cigar box is not wise. You should keep it in a coffee can hidden behind the TV, like me!"

"So what else can we get our customers to do online themselves and charge them for it?"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

Wall Street lights the American Dream on fire while citizens try to burn Wall Street.

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

A man wrapped in bath towel looks in closet where a bunch of identical men hang, each in a different suit.

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

'I like thinking inside the box.'

Management Speak - reading between the lines: "This new role would involve some extra responsibilities." "He wants me too work twice as hard."

'I hate PowerPoint.'

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"Without mentioning any names, certain questionable liberties have been taken with our dress code."

"I've worked for the company for 40 years..."

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

'Hold my calls. I'm going out for a random walk.'

"Stocks go up, stock go down. That's why I jump with a bungee cord."