Refreshment Jester Gifts

'Dude. Seriously? Tell me you didn't put your tongue on that thing.'

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

Women in a cross country race

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Tennis ball girl.

"I suppose you think that's funny."

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"OK, you're going to feel a little prick, followed by a burning desire to sue me."

Somewhere in France - John O'Dowd jests away his junior year abroad

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"Med Brittle"

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

"But Wendy could serve the Lord. She'll keep the cats out."

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

"Can you hold on a sec? I need to check on Timmy."

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

"We're very away of the impact that work can have on your social life!"

I'll catch up to you --- I just need my second wind.

Another wedding

"You'll notice it's the same list as last year. Let's try a little harder this time."

Octopus parent "I've only got four pairs of hands!"

'Orange juice from 100% carrots'

He who laughs, lasts.

"Simply swipe your card, enter the pin, and a pot of gold will be deposited into your account within two working days."

"I paid three grand for this dress- I'll wear it wherever I want!"

"Wow nice jump!"

Blow Up Christmas Tree

I finally found happiness in my own backyard and then I got evicted.