Reflex Experts Gifts

Patient kicks doctor in groin after reflex test.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"It's going over the top? D' you realise what you've just said?"

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

Now Hiring, 'I was about to ask him if he could work without supervision, when he just wandered away!'

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"Job interview!"

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

"What is it about the firm's global presence that most appealed to you?"

Nutty Assistants

A wise man marvels at the commonplace.

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

We hadn't realised your body language was French....

"Oh, that's my cousin. I'm the Bluebird of Mid-Life Existential Despair!"

"The whole thing is basically fiction. But I just thought my resume could use some spice."

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

"I was building up my pecs."

"I was 13 once. It was hard."

"...mpressive C.V.but we have an internal candidate in mind."