Referral Expert Pillows

'That'll teach him not to turn up without any referrals.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

God's Subcontractors

Paperwork No Me Gusta.

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Counting part time employees is the new math.

Pull the udder one

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

'I start my day by making a list of everything I need to do . . . and who I can get to do it for me.'

"I learned early, if at first you don't succeed, delegate."

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

"Just tell us who's winning."

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

"I'm going to need your room cleaned by end-of-day."

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, sister? People were right: Now that gay people in all 50 states can marry, it's destroyed marriage altogether. My husband Larry just left me and moved in with Earl the plumber. First of all, ma'am, I'm pretty sure you have no idea how these things work. The supreme court gave Larry the gay. How do I undo the gay?

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"All parents fight."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"The secret of our relationship? Easy. She just acts as if I don't even exist."