Referral Expert Pillows

'That'll teach him not to turn up without any referrals.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

God's Subcontractors

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Paperwork No Me Gusta.

Counting part time employees is the new math.

Pull the udder one

'You've changed since we got married.'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

'I start my day by making a list of everything I need to do . . . and who I can get to do it for me.'

"I learned early, if at first you don't succeed, delegate."

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

"Just tell us who's winning."

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"All parents fight."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

"I'm going to need your room cleaned by end-of-day."

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."