Redneck Humor Gifts

A Redneck Cupid with a shotgun about to fire open a Boy and Girl redneck couple.

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

Trainspotters a group of trainspotters outside a church taking down details of a Bride's wedding gown train

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

You've lost an electron? Are you sure you're all right? I'm positive.

Close, but no cigar!

Wanted for Stick Up

"Possessing both sexes, the Hypoplectrus gutavarius mates with another Hypoplectrus gutavarius, each switching roles after each encounter."

"Your calculations are right- it's our teabreak!"

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

I'm a Smart-Cow!

'Sure, the farmer always shouts or whistles at me, but deep down, he's a softy...'

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

"Yeah, but I'm sick of the glitter getting all over everything."

'Did you see Doctor Who last night?'

"My mistake Guvnor - I thought you said CRAP circles!"

"We are going to un-friend you on facebook, you see if we don't!"

'My neighbor hates to fix fence...'

10 pin bowling cows.

"You're in my spot!"

'How very Putney!'

'You will look simply marvelous in this newest one from our road kill collection!'

The Ice Cream Age.

A northern cow

"Well, I'll be danged-he's got accordion boots."

RIP Tommy Brown, Northern club comedian, famous catchphrase "You can't beat a good fry-up."

"The mosquitoes are coming!"

A hunter missing his target

Bless you!

'You can stay, but get your ass out of town!'