Redemption Seeker Pillows

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"I keep it on to remind me that I managed to escape a life of crime before I was in too deep."

D.I.Y. halo

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'Please enter your pin now.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"See how it feels"

'I foresee an and to our global troubles ... The world will end tomorrow.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

François Guizot

"...Then she took the divorce settlement money...and set up a company that's putting me out of business."

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

'Why do you want an earring? You can't even see it!'

"And God called the light day."

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

Retrospection.

Avoiding eternal damnation since 1982

I'm tired of blessings in disguise--if it's al the same to you, I want one I can recognize immediately!

"I will avenge the underdone fish that ruined my dinner if it's the last thing I ever do."

Time = $. Time > $.

Priest And Aliens

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

'It's time that ball-kicking cheater got his. Tell mommy that daddy loves her, Ritchie... Here I go...'

"Okay, these are the documents we need to sue your ex for child support, and if we can convince the court it's not too out off line, to have the words, 'lying, cheating b*****d' tattooed on his forehead."

"My ex weighs at least 5 lbs and is 23 inches. He usually hangs around the old dock, and prefers worms. Remember, you didn't hear it from me..."

Egypt Political Changes

Relate

Saint George's Day: 'You can understand why they made him England's Patron Saint.'

"Of course it was good, Milton. . . But the best part is it took my mind off the condition the country is in for nearly twenty minutes!"

'I never hold a grudge...after I get even!'

Revenge pawn