Redemption Believer Pillows

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

"Holy water, holy water...."

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

"Boy, the sooner she realises the only authority I obey is the Bible, the better!"

'Fish and bread? That's it? Seriously?'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'It's a medical miracle. According to your notes you should have been dead years ago!'

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

"Your recovery has defied all known science...so let's just keep this between ourselves!"

'I've got the inside track ... But the Devil uses the big freeway.'

Miracles on 34th Street.

'You had a good idea in our staff meeting yesterday. So, the church sent someone over to witness the miracle.'

Give Thanks.

'Hey, Naomi, remember last week when you said nothing short of a miracle could save MicroTechnoCom from bankruptcy?'

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

'I might be able to get you off if a chain of near miraculous rulings happen to occur.'

'It all started in my previous life, doctor.'

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

Ray Charles

Moses Uses God-Given Powers To Protect His Sandcastle

'No, we wouldn't want to ask God's blessing on something evil, but carrots aren't evil.'

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

"Relax - we're blessings in disguise."

Canadian Jesus

"He tested positive to Lourdes water!"

'As your Guardian Angel, I want you to know that death is not anything to worry about.'