Redemption Enthusiast Gifts

"It's horrible to be at the end of my life with all these regrets! Here I am, a stranger to my family because my career was more important than my family..."

'That's our founder and his parole officer.'

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

Will rule with iron fist for food.

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

The wine-shop

Thomas Cranmer

Thank you to our awesome NHS staff

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

95 Theses That Will Blow Your Mind!

Martin Luther's 96th Thesis

"We can't go on, year after year, reliving the French revolution."

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"No taxation without representation!"

Benjamin Franklin

Declaration of Independence. Legend has it that John Hancock signed his name extra large to annoy King George. The quill must have come from a mocking bird!

Intermediate Slouching.

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

"How did they become our leaders, Dad? There are so many more of us. What's stopping us from charging them and throwing them out of society for good?"

'I've got the inside track ... But the Devil uses the big freeway.'

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

Man on desert island with a sail attached to two coconut trees.

"I'll check the minutes of the last meeting, but I've got 'September Revolution' pencilled in."

Cuban Revolution.

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"

'Reinventing myself.'

Death of Fidel Castro

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'