Red Tape Slayer Gifts

'This is the questionnaire we need everyone to fill out about their views on excessive bureaucracy.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

'I hope you have planning permission for that?'

Distractions: Work Disputes

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

'Item 56(B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'

"Why don't you ever do any positive stories about government dysfunction?"

Climbing in the Bureaucracy.

Planning permission REFUSED...

"Sure, you can use the bathroom. But, you have to put your request in writing and send three copies to the personnel department."

Tweed makes a Mockery of the Supreme Court

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

Bureaucrat

'We struck these tax laws, but they somehow spontaneously regenerated into line 501(c), section 746-e, subsection (3), as described in paragraph (2).'

Bureau of Red Tape

Happy holidays from the IRS! To celebrate we've switched our usual red tape to red ribbon!

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet

Bureaucratic castle

'It's an EIEIO!'

'Of course it's a lengthy process. We feel hiring you should be as difficult as firing you.'

'Of course there are more bureaucrats than field workers! It's more fun to create regulation, than to actually enforce it!'

"By the time we'd lobbied the government, got planning permission, raised capital, put the job out to tender and built it we didn't need it any more!"

"More government regulations, Mr. Maslin?"