Red Tape Buster Gifts

"We had to get builders to stop hoarding land and start building houses...extreme forms of persuasion were called for!"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Time for More Paperwork

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"Do you have an appointment?"

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"The admin shouldn’t take more than 30 or 40 hours, then you’ll be free to get on with some work."

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

'This is a job for a consultant.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

Empty/Full

"No, it's no mistake. There is no out."

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."