Red Tape Reformer Gifts

'This is a serious complaint, we need time to consider it properly...about 15 years should do!'

'Let's not go by the book.'

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

'I hope you have planning permission for that?'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Distractions: Work Disputes

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'This is the questionnaire we need everyone to fill out about their views on excessive bureaucracy.'

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

'Item 56(B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'

Diabolical bureaucratic management

"Sure, you can use the bathroom. But, you have to put your request in writing and send three copies to the personnel department."

Planning permission REFUSED...

Tweed makes a Mockery of the Supreme Court

Climbing in the Bureaucracy.

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

"It can cut through anything ... well, almost anything. There still is governmental red tape."

Bureaucratic castle

Bureau of Red Tape

Bureaucrat

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

'We struck these tax laws, but they somehow spontaneously regenerated into line 501(c), section 746-e, subsection (3), as described in paragraph (2).'