Red Carpet Chaser Mugs

"And ultimately, I want to direct."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

All-Candy Seder.

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

'Get me public relations!'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

May I have the envelope, please?

Hollywood or bust!

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Frank Zappa

Oscars acceptance speech.

'We're too late for the Xmas Eve shindig but if you hurry we can just about make the New Year Eve one!'

As Seen On TV