Recruitment Sensation Pillows

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

"Who's next?"

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

Doughnut Making

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

Your resume says you were a waiter...

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.