Recovering From Medical Treatment Mugs

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

Be Healthy

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Social distancing

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"Let's consider an early dive."

Cardiac Recovery.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

Vlad the Inhaler

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

I should probably get out more.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."