Recovering From Medical Treatment T-Shirts

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Be Healthy

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Social distancing

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

Vlad the Inhaler

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

Cardiac Recovery.

"Let's consider an early dive."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

I should probably get out more.

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."