Record Breaker Gifts

'I set my high-jump records during leap year.'

A long jumper reaching 18.

"A new record for 1,499 meters!"

The Specimen Hunter

'Let's not go by the book.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'Read that last part back to me.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'I'm sure it's a violation, but I can't find it in the rule book.'

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

No early morning tea past this landing