Reconnecting With Birth Family T-Shirts

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

"Prepare yourself for a shock. The birth records reveal you have a twin brother."

Coronovirus dreams

Once or twice a year he'd leave work and go home to his family. He missed them terribly, but not the commute.

'Omigosh! According to your resume, we share the same father!'

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

'No kid, I don't remember your mother! Christ, I've impregnated DOZENS of test-tubes!'

"I found my old college classmates and my college uncovered my old tuition loans!"

'Of course I remember you-Tomkins,the Peter Pan of the Lower 4th!'

"We've found your birth mother."

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

"I could never please my father. Whenever I did something he didn't approve of, he'd threaten to go public."

" ...and this is the armor of my ancestor, 'Cederick the Unintimidating.'"

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."

"I think my grandmother might have married him and brought him home after the war, since then he's just been sat by the fire..."

'Your DNA test results are now in.'

Son, I'm adopted

DNA Tests. Discover your ancestry. That was great! I love taking a science test where it's not possible to give a wrong answer.

'And where do you think you've been till this time?'

"Wow. I share DNA with Moby Dick!"

Is the lock down to reconnect with my children, apparently I've got five of them

In all the years I've endured your presence, I have never once heard you mention your mother. It's almost as if you think you sprang fully formed from the bowels of the earth. When's the last time you called your mother? December 2, 1992. The day before text messaging was introduced. INGRATE!!!

Another restraining order. This was the last time he'd try to plan a family reunion.

Bob spent years tracking down his birth parents only to discover the awful truth. They lied. He had never been adopted.

Rudy, how do you use that computer thing? The what? The thing that connects all the people together so you can waste all your time absorbed emailing and chatting and reading stupid gossip. The internet? Yes, dummy. I need to use it to see if I've got a long lost twin sister. Can you help? Sure. If you take back all the nasty things you've said about it. Impasse. Impasse. To be continued ...

"And those, I believe, are my stepchildren."

'I retired from politics to spend more time with my family, and they didn't RECOGNIZE me.'

'You'll love Elliot, Father, He despises everyone even more than you do!'

"And this was the man I thought was your father until E-Z Pass records proved that he was in New Jersey when you were conceived."

Geneology Service: 'I'm afraid you fall into our 'better off not knowing' category....'

Calling yourself O'possum doesn't make you Irish, Bob.