Reconnecting With Birth Family Mugs

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

Coronovirus dreams

"Prepare yourself for a shock. The birth records reveal you have a twin brother."

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

Once or twice a year he'd leave work and go home to his family. He missed them terribly, but not the commute.

"I found my old college classmates and my college uncovered my old tuition loans!"

'No kid, I don't remember your mother! Christ, I've impregnated DOZENS of test-tubes!'

'Omigosh! According to your resume, we share the same father!'

"We've found your birth mother."

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

"I could never please my father. Whenever I did something he didn't approve of, he'd threaten to go public."

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."

"I think my grandmother might have married him and brought him home after the war, since then he's just been sat by the fire..."

'And where do you think you've been till this time?'

Son, I'm adopted

'Your DNA test results are now in.'

"Wow. I share DNA with Moby Dick!"

Is the lock down to reconnect with my children, apparently I've got five of them

Another restraining order. This was the last time he'd try to plan a family reunion.

Bob spent years tracking down his birth parents only to discover the awful truth. They lied. He had never been adopted.

"And this was the man I thought was your father until E-Z Pass records proved that he was in New Jersey when you were conceived."

"And those, I believe, are my stepchildren."

'I retired from politics to spend more time with my family, and they didn't RECOGNIZE me.'

'You'll love Elliot, Father, He despises everyone even more than you do!'

Geneology Service: 'I'm afraid you fall into our 'better off not knowing' category....'

"What's the deal, Gramps? You couldn't get any color film at Auschwitz?"