Reconnecting With Biological Family Mugs

'Mum, I've made contact with my natural random sperm donor.'

'Dad! Dad! Dad!!. . . We lost our signal.'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'Get a new hair-do, join a health club, call your mother...'

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

Coronovirus dreams

'Must you find fault every time she brings a boyfriend home?'

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

Once or twice a year he'd leave work and go home to his family. He missed them terribly, but not the commute.

"I found my old college classmates and my college uncovered my old tuition loans!"

'No kid, I don't remember your mother! Christ, I've impregnated DOZENS of test-tubes!'

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

'Of course I remember you-Tomkins,the Peter Pan of the Lower 4th!'

'Please try to understand...I appreciate all that you have done for me and I love you both very much...But, I must try to find my biological parents.'

"I could never please my father. Whenever I did something he didn't approve of, he'd threaten to go public."

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

"Meet my extended family."

On 'Friends Reunited' everyone can claim to be a front page maodel for GQ Magazine.

"I'm glad I found the time to join this meeting, otherwise we wouldn't see each other in years!"

" ...and this is the armor of my ancestor, 'Cederick the Unintimidating.'"

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."

'I've got a good feeling, this one's a 'keeper'.'

Is the lock down to reconnect with my children, apparently I've got five of them

'Your DNA test results are now in.'

Son, I'm adopted

In all the years I've endured your presence, I have never once heard you mention your mother. It's almost as if you think you sprang fully formed from the bowels of the earth. When's the last time you called your mother? December 2, 1992. The day before text messaging was introduced. INGRATE!!!

'And where do you think you've been till this time?'

Class Reunion.

Another restraining order. This was the last time he'd try to plan a family reunion.

'I asked him if he had any security and he said social security!'

'And here's another of our Andy when he was a pupa.'

I Thought He Was Dead