Recipe Experimentation T-Shirts

'Caution: raw eggs!'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

"I've added some dehydrated non-vegetable oil sulphites so it's more like mum used to make."

"You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, but you can make a killer Bolognese sauce."

"Does the rhubarb sauce need more sugar?"

"Sorry about that. Lenny accidentally used jumping beans."

Cooking with Wine: "Oops! Almost split some in the food."

Soup Recipe

"I think you've crossed the line, Alphonse, from seasoning to herbal medicine."

Drinking the cooking wine.

"Oh, you do it that way, do you?"

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

'I thought I'd try making marmalade. Do we have any marmals?'

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

Before/After

But I followed the recipe exactly.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Cookbooks

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."