Experimenting In Cooking T-Shirts

Your usual ginseng pumpernickel ostrich-sweat latte? No thanks. I wanna try something different today. The pecan praline white chocolate mocha's also good. Ooh, that sounds good. I'll have one of those. Coming up. But can you substitute macadamia nut for the pecan? That'll take some work, but it's doable. Thank you. And can you substitute turkey tears for the praline? Turkey tears sound good. And can you substitute pureed bagel for the mocha? Pureed bagel sounds lovely. I see where this is going

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Before/After

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Man's cooking explodes.

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Ten out of ten for effort...

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'No creamed peas for me today!'

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"I'm unable to process this image."

The Inexperienced Cook

Tzatzikicicle

'Diet considerations.'

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

Avocado Timeline

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

Funky Chef 2

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."