Recipe Alchemist T-Shirts

Nigella Lawson.

Party time.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"I said slime."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"It's made from all our old leftovers. I call it 'Rescue Casserole.'"

"First you make a roux."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

I bake my own bread.

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

Olive Oil

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

"When you have a moment would you mind browning the meringue?"