Recession Rumbler Gifts

Business News.

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Souvenirs.

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

Boring and unnecessary meetings

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this seminar is about how to make profits in times of crisis..."

"By the time we'd lobbied the government, got planning permission, raised capital, put the job out to tender and built it we didn't need it any more!"

How many ways can a coach say 'get the ball and score some points'.

U.S. Department of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms

Licensing Officer

'No more!'

Hillbilly.

Whatever it is I usually think about.

"I'd say, psychotic-obsessive -- but I happen to know he's a top-level economist."

"This is our successful 'Flat Broke Bum' designer suit. Lots of investment bankers and car plant CEO's ordered it!"

"...and the undisputed winner is..."

"Another meeting?"

'The NHS is completely 'patient focussed'...and we have the paperwork to prove it.'

'You can't fire me! The middle class is an endangered species.'

New-age traveller and old-age traveller

'Today's electronics won't let a fellow lose himself in the wilderness like we did in the old days.'

"I miss the pre-recession tranquility."

"I think it's our gas bill."

"Relax—we'd know."

"Is that just for the night, or for ever?"

Bail out party.

"It never fails! I turn my back for a few days, and we're OVERRUN with pesky little competitors sprouting up in our own back yard!"

Santa bailout.

"Relax. I'm checking for a wire."