Recession Prepper Pillows

"I'm worried about a stockmarket downturn. So I'm buying land, gold, and of course, plenty of canned spaghetti."

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

"To say things are bad is an UNDERSTATEMENT...We're staring into a FINANCIAL ABYSS, the COLLAPSE of the banking sector...On the other hand some experts believe that things will be back to normal in a few months ."

The End is Nigh

S.O.S. vaccine

Prepper Dog

Holiday Gifts 2020

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

"Any sign of recovery yet?"

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

Trick or Treatment.

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

When a nanosecond is forever.

"Every time Trump wins a primary, we get one step closer."

The Circle.

"It would be unwise to attend an interview without doing any preparation in advance.

"As you can see, hands are about to hit peak dryness, so we're predicting record lotion sales for next quarter."

"Don't sweat the huge stuff."

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

'I've been carrying these placards around for over twenty years! It's about time!'

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"