Receiving A Medical Award Gifts

Alexander Fleming

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Award Winning Gardener

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Win - win

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

Employee of the Month

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Soccer coach of the year.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

Employee of the month and the prankster of the month.

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

Zdeno Chara

"This one is for not complaining about stretched too thin handling domestic and foreign crises."

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."