Reaper Comedies Pillows

'Don't panic Big Guy, I'm just here to cut you down to size.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong."

Fisherman: 'HOLY MACKEREL!'

'Don't worry, pal. I'm just here for one of them. You still have eight to go.'

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

Vernon has a Floss with Death

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

"Oh no, it's the Grim Streaker."

"Don't mind me - finish the gag."

"Is it just me, or did this sales meeting suddenly take a dark turn?"

It's called a scythe

"Call security - and my cardiologist."

"All this running around you do at night … it’s killing your mother."

"Come on - let me guess again."

'Ok, I've gotta ask..do you actually like this job?'

"With a bit o luck we may be over the worst of it!"

Covid Boarding Pass

Your honor, why won't you instruct the witness to answer the question? Because he has a gavel and I have a scythe.

The walking dead

'I'm here to read the meter.'

Chad cheats death – and would live on to lead a very stupid life.

'First, let me confirm a rumor. The next round of cuts will go deeper than originally announced.'

"Hey, don't I get a receipt?"

"Here I am, Mother, gainfully and meaningfully employed, and all you can do is criticize."

How Am I Scaring?

I tried the "Killing with Kindness" thing, but it just didn't keep me busy enough. Have a Nice Day.

In the off season I do temp work.

"Can't talk now, I'm dicing with death, we're doing stir-fry."

'Looks like you're coming too.'

IRS. They are both inevitable but at least the IRS grants extensions.

'I had no idea that hospital food was this bad!'

"When I walk into a room it goes quiet..."

"With proper flossing your restoration will last forever. My assistant will show you how."