Reality Vs. Expectation Analyst Pillows

'How come when you vacuum, you don't smile like the women in TV commercials?'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

Truth

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

"It looked better on pinterest."

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

'You're King Kong? You look bigger in the movies.'

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

"With all the AI and deep fake technology, I'm not even sure what's real anymore."

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

It happened on Christmas Eve

Religion, This End Up

'Happy birthday, dear... It's an executive rock.'

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

"The idea at 3 am. The idea at 7 am."

'The more successful I become, the less money I make.'

"It looked better when I saw it on Instagram."

"All right now...hold still."

'Well, what did you expect?'

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

"By the way, some of us have begun to feel that 'Because it's there' is not reason enough."