Fantasy Vs. Reality Observer Pillows

'You're King Kong? You look bigger in the movies.'

Mother Duck.

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

Magic Act

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

It happened on Christmas Eve

Bizarre sights.

'Happy birthday, dear... It's an executive rock.'

"The idea at 3 am. The idea at 7 am."

'What part of 'nature' do you not get?'

World of Cow - Goldfish aren't the only ones to grow into their environments.

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

"I'm telling you Sancho, these are giants."

"After I had my eyes lasered, the people down there stopped looking like ants. Plump, furry and delicious little rodents, yes, but not ants!"

Lemmings jump off a cliff wearing t-shirts reading 'I'm with stupid'.

"What's this? I thought you said we were going on a 'tour of alcohol'!"

"Just as your family means a lot to you, Henderson, power means a lot to me.

A king and queen playing badminton while being held up by their servants in litters.

I see the Christmas shift has taken over nice and smoothly again.

'You'll have to excuse me. I'm not used to talking to people, in real-time, without using a mobile device.'

'We lost everything - hot dogs, popcorn, game programs, an order of nachos. Got out of our seats with just the clothes on our backs, but we're both OK, and that's what matters most.'

Overly optimistic and overly pessimistic executives

"I see a horse down there." "No, looks like a cow, man."

"Me, after years of begging, I was finally allowed into the house yesterday. You know what, it was kind of a letdown..."

"But he's stranger than you. Does that mean you and I should get married?"

"Why do you always get to be 'half-full' and I have to be 'half-empty'!?"

"It was horrible! I dreamt my food took a photo of me!"

'A tropical depression will move through the area, followed Sunday by scattered outbreaks of temperate optimism and hope.'

'How come when you vacuum, you don't smile like the women in TV commercials?'

She knew that her online boyfriend would be just as sensitive in person.

'The good thing about being unemployed is when you wake up in the morning, you're already at work.'