Reality Shows Pillows

"Remember, in this negotiation you're the 'Paula Abdul.'"

No one remembers Gottlieb Much, runner-up in the 1738 season of 'The Hymn Factor'.

"This new reality show is boring and stupid!" "You're watching the news!"

Robinson Crusoe..."Daniel we love the idea but have you thought of adding a few more characters,maybe half a dozen celebrities who all want out!"

ACADEMIC IDOL............'The yodeling effect of the vowel repetitions was novel and infectious. And yet, I feel that it was Professor Elliot's choice of subject matter that let him down here.'

"I hate these 'fly-on-the-wall' type documentaries...they're nothing like real life...!"

Distancing with the Stars

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

"The Real Housewives of Real Households"

'Stay tuned for, Are You Smarter Than a Monkey?'

Morning Lineup of Programs on ASC, the All-Security Camera Station:

Eh... yes Mister eh... Genghis. Can I just ask where did you get your boots?

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'They'll give a TV show to any obnoxious person these days.'

'I'm a mockney - gey me aaahht of ere!'

"This new poll says that public are sick of Big Brother. Let's do an eight page spread on it."

'Watching a lot of reality shows doesn't make you a realist!'

'That was quite a reality show -- the guy got voted out of the human race.'

'When are we going to get our own family, TV, reality show?'

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

The 'Vatican Idol' auditions begin.

Bob always voted for his favorite performance. It was his way of giving something back.

'Wait a minute - How an a reality show be ANIMATED?'

"Too late! George has spotted that the new series of X-factor has started!"

"You changed the channel! I told you I was watching my favorite reality show! What part of 'I'm watching my favorite reality show' don't you understand?"

"TV is so much better than real life."

"I don't know why we watch this rubbish!"

"This isn't a reality show. . . it's the news."

"Am I through to the next round?"

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

Reality Football

"...conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal--although my ratings are better than 'The Bachelor's finale.'"

American idle

Christine O'Donnell's Danse Macabre.

'Why do reality shows have such phoney stars?'