Realism At Work T-Shirts

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

Tired Barbie

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

New from Low-Key Press.

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

Have you considered a career in travel brochures?

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"Say, why don't we go see the Hopper show at the Whitney?"

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"I dreamed Lucian Freud was coming to paint us."

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

Expectations vs. Bitterness

'That's the sign of a good painting!'

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Gustave Flaubert

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"That's my survival kit. It has a meditation tape, aspirin and rose-coloured glasses."

"Let's be realistic. Are we all going to try to keep this party afloat, or should we just go home and forget it?"

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."