Real Estate Mogul Fan Gifts

I've been replaced by another crony!

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'They're playing house.'

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

Real Estate Depression

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

'Media stocks rose on news that Warren Buffett, a real smart feller, brought the Omaha World-Herald.'

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

Trump

"I'm a little concerned about our distribution."

"I told you he was a motivated seller.

'If you kiss me, I'll cause the Dow Jones Industrial Average to soar, manufacturing and trade data to re-accelerate, and housing to rebound significantly throughout the remainder of this and the next quarter.'

Even heaven is helpless to stop it.

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

The Murdochs '. . . Wendi, this channel'snot plugging any newscorp interests!'

"Try not to see them as a ridiculously expensive pile of bricks but rather as a value for money self build opportunity!"

"His only acquisitions so far seem to have been a Ferrari and a villa a Marbella."

'First the good news - you won't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore.'

Large Property Portfolio - Please Help.

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

'I'm a homing-pigeon you see, but since I've invested in the property market, I'm confused as to which home to return to...'

'Forgive me if I'm wrong,sir but you DID ask for a boozer next door!'

Property managers dangling the threat of real estate holdings over corporations.

"Ha! Buying a house just so you can live in it. I'll never understand young people."