Reading Safety Manuals Mugs

"I think you must have missed a page!"

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Drool Marks

Man using to much bug spray

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

On the brink.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"I see you've security marked your property."

Beware of Falling Notice.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'