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'Yes, it is a nice ship but it cost me an arm and a leg.'

"We 'ave an agreement, then - I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine."

Pirate eye chart.

'Cannonball!'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

'We should talk more.'

"The captain says we have to stay up here until we stop acting so childish."

Pirate King

Desert Island Books

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

'I bought him from a sailor!'

Daily Grind...'I'm getting too old for this!'

'Maybe I should abandon my crew and keep all the treasure for myself!'

"He was going to buy. Why'd you tell him it was made with real gingerbread?"

"I made him do the plank."

"Same ship, different day."

Captain's Log: Day 3 of Polly's cracker detox was a tough one...

Santa never made it as a pirate: 'Yo ho ho! And a bottle of egg nog!'

So Lonely 'Twas (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

"So leaving it with a broker didn't do any good at all?"

Mermaid luring pirates to their death

"I removed the carpeting and lo and behold, hardwood!"

'He tells a great story, but the truth is that he was drinking a mai tai, and the little umbrella poked him in the eye.'

"Yer know I hates it when yer read over me shoulder!"

A young Captain Hook visits Santa Claus

'No, sorry, this isn't an oil tanker.'

Pirates of Penzance, Frederic and Mabel

"Should we tell the captain about that approaching enemy ship?"

Somewhere on the Coast of Somalia...

'I assume Sir requires a hands-free model?'

Frederic and Ruth