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"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Cannonball!'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

Ghostship

'We should talk more.'

"The captain says we have to stay up here until we stop acting so childish."

Pirate King

Alexander Hopson, retired submarine Commanding Officer.

Daily Grind...'I'm getting too old for this!'

"I made him do the plank."

"Same ship, different day."

Captain's Log: Day 3 of Polly's cracker detox was a tough one...

Doctor telling pirate he has termites in his wooden leg.

Mermaid luring pirates to their death

"I can't tell a lie, Samantha. I'm a two bird bloke."

"I removed the carpeting and lo and behold, hardwood!"

'Take the advice of an old sea dog, Lad. Never provoke a fight with the phrase, 'You want a piece of me?''

"Because the sea can be a cruel mistress."

'He tells a great story, but the truth is that he was drinking a mai tai, and the little umbrella poked him in the eye.'

'Yes, it is a nice ship but it cost me an arm and a leg.'

Octo-Pirate

Somewhere on the Coast of Somalia...

Rum Ration Daiquiris: 'We're spoiling them!'

'I assume Sir requires a hands-free model?'

Flying Dutchman

"A plaster on yer knee, not much of a pirate, are we?"

'The bad cholesterol molecules are the ones with scars and eye patches.'

Pirate eye chart.

'Let's face it, Cap'n -- we're dead in the water!'

Old boatmen impressing children with made up stories about having been a smuggler

"We 'ave an agreement, then - I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine."

I am hospitably received by Mr. Peggotty

"This turns our understanding of mermaids completely upside down."