Reading Pirate Stories Pillows

'Yes, it is a nice ship but it cost me an arm and a leg.'

"We 'ave an agreement, then - I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine."

Pirate eye chart.

'Cannonball!'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

'We should talk more.'

"The captain says we have to stay up here until we stop acting so childish."

Pirate King

Daily Grind...'I'm getting too old for this!'

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

'I bought him from a sailor!'

Desert Island Books

'Maybe I should abandon my crew and keep all the treasure for myself!'

Captain's Log: Day 3 of Polly's cracker detox was a tough one...

"I made him do the plank."

"Same ship, different day."

"So leaving it with a broker didn't do any good at all?"

So Lonely 'Twas (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

Mermaid luring pirates to their death

"I removed the carpeting and lo and behold, hardwood!"

"Yer know I hates it when yer read over me shoulder!"

'He tells a great story, but the truth is that he was drinking a mai tai, and the little umbrella poked him in the eye.'

A young Captain Hook visits Santa Claus

'No, sorry, this isn't an oil tanker.'

Frederic and Ruth

"Should we tell the captain about that approaching enemy ship?"

"A plaster on yer knee, not much of a pirate, are we?"

'I assume Sir requires a hands-free model?'

Pirates of Penzance, Frederic and Mabel

Somewhere on the Coast of Somalia...

'The bad cholesterol molecules are the ones with scars and eye patches.'