Piracy Tales Pillows

'Maybe I should abandon my crew and keep all the treasure for myself!'

'Cannonball!'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

"Shall I let them breathe."

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

"I find parrots have a tendency to fly away"

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'It's a treasure map.'

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

"How many letters can you read?"

"International trade"

'I heard that the new captain was raised on a farm.'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

What if Pirates Were Born With Their Wooden Leg?

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

Pirate King

'You're allergic to feathers.'

'We should talk more.'

'Interesting business plan.'

Pirates on holiday.

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

'Todd here syas our plank is to narrow and may lead to lawsuits.'

'Because I don't want you to be part of the decision - making process, that's why!'

'Here be our new flag, me hearties! A truly Jolly Roger, from now on, we're all about bein' upbeat an' optimistical!!'

'I bought him from a sailor!'

"Well yes, I've been away for a long time, but you knew I worked on a Pirate Ship when we got married..."

Hooks R Us.