Pirate Fiction Fan T-Shirts

'I bought him from a sailor!'

'New affirmative action rules, boys -- we have to hire some Somalis.'

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Pirate

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

The Dubloon Stops Here

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

Piracy on a boating lake

'Are we there yet?'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Treasure Island Book.

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"Shall I let them breathe."

tRUMp, Pirate President

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'